Source: Connect with Kids
“A very achieving, gentle, loving, spiritual, sweet child.”
– Doris Smith, describing her son, Mark, who committed suicide.
When he was 10 years old, Mark Smith’s mother and father divorced.
“It affected Mark greatly,” says his mother, Doris Smith. “I found out in later years he told me it devastated him.”
Throughout his teen years, Mark had trouble sleeping and eating. He also talked about death and dying --typical signs of depression.
“He was giving me all the signs and the symptoms of a person who would take their own life,” says Smith.
Finally, he did. With a gunshot to the head.
New research finds that 4 percent of all black teens will attempt suicide. And while it’s still lower than the suicide rate for whites, the gap is closing.
“We’re more aware of it, there’s more reporting of it,” explains Psychiatrist Dr. Saundra Maass-Robinson. “There’s less… I don’t want to say there’s less stigma, but there’s less reluctance for those loved ones to identify it as a suicide than in the past.”
Maass-Robinson says that in the past 18 years, approximately 50 percent of her clients have been black teens. Still, she says, too often the ones that need help never get it.
“I will more often than not hear these young men say they’ve been wanting to get help for a while but their parents have discouraged it. So the very people they turn to for help are still part of the problem.”
Maass-Robinson says if you do see signs of depression -- no matter how subtle – take action.
“As the parent, I always take the position, ‘I know something’s wrong, I’m not here debating that. I’m not here [saying] how are you doing’,” says Maass-Robinson. “If you can’t talk to me, is there anybody you can? Because if you can’t I’m going to find you somebody and we’re going to do this.”
Doris Smith will always wish she had done more…
“I miss Mark so very much,” she says. “He was my only child. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him.”
When someone commits suicide, even people who were close to the victim often voice surprise and shock. Yet suicide is a prevalent issue, particularly among youth, who seemingly have their whole lives ahead of them. Consider the following statistics:
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people ages 15 to 24. In fact, more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease combined.
Risk factors for attempted suicide in youth are depression, alcohol or other drug use, and aggressive or disruptive behavior.
Over the last several decades, the suicide rate in young people has increased dramatically, nearly tripling in the last 50 years.
Male teenagers are much more likely to commit suicide than female teenagers, at a ratio of five-to-one.
Since 1980, suicide rates increased most rapidly among young black males.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, many of the symptoms of suicidal tendencies are similar to those of depression. Parents should be aware of the following signs that could indicate your child is at risk:
Change in eating and sleeping habits
Withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
Violent actions, rebellious behavior, or running away
Drug and alcohol use
Unusual neglect of personal appearance
Marked personality change
Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork
Frequent complaints about physical symptoms (often related to emotions) such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, etc.
Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
Intolerant of praise or rewards
A teenager who is planning to commit suicide may also …
Say that they are “a bad person” or feel "rotten inside."
Give verbal hints such as, "I won't be a problem for you much longer;" "Nothing matters;" "It's no use," or, "I won't see you again."
Put his or her affairs in order; for example, give away favorite possessions, clean his or her room, throw away important belongings, etc.
Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression.
Have signs of psychosis (hallucinations or bizarre thoughts).
If a child or teen says, "I want to kill myself," or "I'm going to commit suicide," always take the statement seriously and seek evaluation from a psychiatrist and/or physician who specializes in children. People often feel uncomfortable talking about death. However, asking the child or adolescent whether he or she is depressed or thinking about suicide can be helpful. Don’t be afraid that this will "put thoughts in your child's head." Instead, asking the question lets the child know somebody cares, and can give him/her the chance to talk about his/her problems.
Experts at the American Association of Suicidology have developed the following suggestions to help deter someone who might be suicidal:
Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or if feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life.
Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
Don’t dare him or her to do it.
Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.
Offer hope that alternatives are available, but do not offer glib reassurance.
Take action. Remove any means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.
Get help from doctors, therapists or agencies that specialize in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.
