Help your child stand up to teasing at school with these smart playground strategies.
Source: ADDitude Magazine
Teasing and playful banter are an inevitable part of childhood, but children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often don't know how to respond. Parents should encourage their children to stand up to teasing without overreacting, which might escalate the problem.
Alert your child's teachers and school principal about any bullying, and let the school take care of the situation.
Suggest that the school establish antibullying rules, if it hasn't already done so.
Encourage your child to stay calm in the face of the bullying. He might count to 10 or take a few deep breaths before responding. Help him brainstorm some good comebacks. He could agree with the bully: "I am overweight. Maybe I should go on a diet." Or he could preempt taunts by saying, "Hi, what are you going to tease me about today?" The key is to remain emotionally detached.
Teach your child to yell, "Ouch! Stop that!" each time he's taunted. That will attract an adult's attention without his tattling.
Encourage your child to stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak in a firm, authoritative tone. If the bullying seems to have a specific, petty target - like the type of cap your son wears on the bus - have him leave it home for a few days.
Ask your child for a daily progress report, and offer abundant encouragement.
Showing posts with label ADD ADHD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADD ADHD. Show all posts
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sue Scheff - Impossible Kids? Possible Answers!
In 1989 FAUS produced a 21-minute videotape called "Impossible Kids? Possible Answers!" It was designed as an introduction to the Feingold Program and includes interviews of families on the program, plus footage of Dr. Feingold.This film has now been converted to a DVD format.
To keep the cost low, the disk comes in a paper envelope, not a plastic jewel case.Since the filming, a few things have changed: The children in the film have grown up, the FAUS Foodlist & Shopping Guide is much larger, and there are new studies. But aside from that, little has changed -- families are still baffled by their child's behavior problems and many are still searching for answers, and finding them in the Feingold Program.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Building Social Skills with ADHD Children
Role-playing strategies to help your child get along with others—even bullies.
Making eye contact. Not interrupting. Taking turns. If your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) needs help with these and other social skills, you may want to give “role-playing” a try. By testing out various personas, he can see how simple changes in what he says and does can help him get along better with friends and family members.
Role-playing works with almost any child who is old enough to talk. It’s especially good for teaching children how to deal with teasing — a problem familiar to many kids with ADHD.
Consider the case of Joe B., a nine-year-old I recently treated. Joe’s parents sought my help because he kept overreacting to playful (but sometimes hurtful) verbal banter that came his way during recess. On one such occasion, after Joe did something silly, a playmate laughed at him and called him a “turkey head.” Enraged, Joe shoved the boy and burst into tears. He looked like a crybaby.
Joe acknowledged shoving the other boy, but said to me, “He started it.” Joe felt it was the other boy who needed to change. I explained to Joe that he couldn’t always control what other people did, but that he always had a choice about how to react. “You’re the boss of yourself,” I told him.
Talking things over made Joe feel better, and I decided that role-playing might help Joe avoid future incidents. Here are the basic steps I used with Joe that you might try with your own child:
Define the problem. Talk things over until you understand the exact nature of the problem facing your child. Joe’s problem, of course, was that he felt angry and sad when kids called him names—and couldn’t stop himself from lashing out physically.
Acknowledge bad feelings. Let your child know that it’s normal to be upset by teasing. Joe’s parents and I made sure that he understood that—and that it was not OK for children to pick on him.
Discuss alternative ways to respond. Explain to your child that there are many ways to respond to teasing, some good and some not so good. Shoving the teaser was a bad choice. Joe and I explored better options, including walking away from the encounter and saying “I don’t care” over and over, until the teaser got bored. Ultimately, Joe decided he’d simply say, “Please stop it.” He said that gave him a sense of control over the situation.
Reenact the situation. Once you’ve armed your child with socially acceptable ways to respond, let him play the role of the child being teased while you play the teaser. Then switch roles, varying the “script” to explore the different ways in which the scenario could play out. You might videotape the role-playing sessions and review the tapes at a later time with your child to reinforce appropriate behavior.
Celebrate success. If your child comes home announcing that he has used the lessons learned in role-playing, congratulate him. Give him a high-five, and tell him how proud you are — even if he didn’t do everything you had practiced. This is not the time to nit-pick.
Role-playing didn’t help Joe right away. But one day, a few weeks after we began our sessions, Joe was beaming when he came into my office. Once again, a playmate had teased him, but this time Joe hadn’t struck back. “I told him I didn’t care what he thought,” Joe explained.
Over time, as we continued our sessions, Joe got even better at controlling his behavior on the playground. Other children accepted him as one of the gang, and that made him feel good about himself.
Making eye contact. Not interrupting. Taking turns. If your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) needs help with these and other social skills, you may want to give “role-playing” a try. By testing out various personas, he can see how simple changes in what he says and does can help him get along better with friends and family members.
Role-playing works with almost any child who is old enough to talk. It’s especially good for teaching children how to deal with teasing — a problem familiar to many kids with ADHD.
Consider the case of Joe B., a nine-year-old I recently treated. Joe’s parents sought my help because he kept overreacting to playful (but sometimes hurtful) verbal banter that came his way during recess. On one such occasion, after Joe did something silly, a playmate laughed at him and called him a “turkey head.” Enraged, Joe shoved the boy and burst into tears. He looked like a crybaby.
Joe acknowledged shoving the other boy, but said to me, “He started it.” Joe felt it was the other boy who needed to change. I explained to Joe that he couldn’t always control what other people did, but that he always had a choice about how to react. “You’re the boss of yourself,” I told him.
Talking things over made Joe feel better, and I decided that role-playing might help Joe avoid future incidents. Here are the basic steps I used with Joe that you might try with your own child:
Define the problem. Talk things over until you understand the exact nature of the problem facing your child. Joe’s problem, of course, was that he felt angry and sad when kids called him names—and couldn’t stop himself from lashing out physically.
Acknowledge bad feelings. Let your child know that it’s normal to be upset by teasing. Joe’s parents and I made sure that he understood that—and that it was not OK for children to pick on him.
Discuss alternative ways to respond. Explain to your child that there are many ways to respond to teasing, some good and some not so good. Shoving the teaser was a bad choice. Joe and I explored better options, including walking away from the encounter and saying “I don’t care” over and over, until the teaser got bored. Ultimately, Joe decided he’d simply say, “Please stop it.” He said that gave him a sense of control over the situation.
Reenact the situation. Once you’ve armed your child with socially acceptable ways to respond, let him play the role of the child being teased while you play the teaser. Then switch roles, varying the “script” to explore the different ways in which the scenario could play out. You might videotape the role-playing sessions and review the tapes at a later time with your child to reinforce appropriate behavior.
Celebrate success. If your child comes home announcing that he has used the lessons learned in role-playing, congratulate him. Give him a high-five, and tell him how proud you are — even if he didn’t do everything you had practiced. This is not the time to nit-pick.
Role-playing didn’t help Joe right away. But one day, a few weeks after we began our sessions, Joe was beaming when he came into my office. Once again, a playmate had teased him, but this time Joe hadn’t struck back. “I told him I didn’t care what he thought,” Joe explained.
Over time, as we continued our sessions, Joe got even better at controlling his behavior on the playground. Other children accepted him as one of the gang, and that made him feel good about himself.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sue Scheff: Building Social Skills for ADHD Children
By ADDitude Magazine
Role-playing strategies to help your child get along with others—even bullies.
Making eye contact. Not interrupting. Taking turns. If your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) needs help with these and other social skills, you may want to give “role-playing” a try. By testing out various personas, he can see how simple changes in what he says and does can help him get along better with friends and family members.
Role-playing works with almost any child who is old enough to talk. It’s especially good for teaching children how to deal with teasing — a problem familiar to many kids with ADHD.
Consider the case of Joe B., a nine-year-old I recently treated. Joe’s parents sought my help because he kept overreacting to playful (but sometimes hurtful) verbal banter that came his way during recess. On one such occasion, after Joe did something silly, a playmate laughed at him and called him a “turkey head.” Enraged, Joe shoved the boy and burst into tears. He looked like a crybaby.
Joe acknowledged shoving the other boy, but said to me, “He started it.” Joe felt it was the other boy who needed to change. I explained to Joe that he couldn’t always control what other people did, but that he always had a choice about how to react. “You’re the boss of yourself,” I told him.
Talking things over made Joe feel better, and I decided that role-playing might help Joe avoid future incidents. Here are the basic steps I used with Joe that you might try with your own child:
Define the problem. Talk things over until you understand the exact nature of the problem facing your child. Joe’s problem, of course, was that he felt angry and sad when kids called him names—and couldn’t stop himself from lashing out physically.
Acknowledge bad feelings. Let your child know that it’s normal to be upset by teasing. Joe’s parents and I made sure that he understood that—and that it was not OK for children to pick on him.
Discuss alternative ways to respond. Explain to your child that there are many ways to respond to teasing, some good and some not so good. Shoving the teaser was a bad choice. Joe and I explored better options, including walking away from the encounter and saying “I don’t care” over and over, until the teaser got bored. Ultimately, Joe decided he’d simply say, “Please stop it.” He said that gave him a sense of control over the situation.
Reenact the situation. Once you’ve armed your child with socially acceptable ways to respond, let him play the role of the child being teased while you play the teaser. Then switch roles, varying the “script” to explore the different ways in which the scenario could play out. You might videotape the role-playing sessions and review the tapes at a later time with your child to reinforce appropriate behavior.
Celebrate success. If your child comes home announcing that he has used the lessons learned in role-playing, congratulate him. Give him a high-five, and tell him how proud you are — even if he didn’t do everything you had practiced. This is not the time to nit-pick.
Role-playing didn’t help Joe right away. But one day, a few weeks after we began our sessions, Joe was beaming when he came into my office. Once again, a playmate had teased him, but this time Joe hadn’t struck back. “I told him I didn’t care what he thought,” Joe explained.
Over time, as we continued our sessions, Joe got even better at controlling his behavior on the playground. Other children accepted him as one of the gang, and that made him feel good about himself.
Role-playing strategies to help your child get along with others—even bullies.
Making eye contact. Not interrupting. Taking turns. If your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) needs help with these and other social skills, you may want to give “role-playing” a try. By testing out various personas, he can see how simple changes in what he says and does can help him get along better with friends and family members.
Role-playing works with almost any child who is old enough to talk. It’s especially good for teaching children how to deal with teasing — a problem familiar to many kids with ADHD.
Consider the case of Joe B., a nine-year-old I recently treated. Joe’s parents sought my help because he kept overreacting to playful (but sometimes hurtful) verbal banter that came his way during recess. On one such occasion, after Joe did something silly, a playmate laughed at him and called him a “turkey head.” Enraged, Joe shoved the boy and burst into tears. He looked like a crybaby.
Joe acknowledged shoving the other boy, but said to me, “He started it.” Joe felt it was the other boy who needed to change. I explained to Joe that he couldn’t always control what other people did, but that he always had a choice about how to react. “You’re the boss of yourself,” I told him.
Talking things over made Joe feel better, and I decided that role-playing might help Joe avoid future incidents. Here are the basic steps I used with Joe that you might try with your own child:
Define the problem. Talk things over until you understand the exact nature of the problem facing your child. Joe’s problem, of course, was that he felt angry and sad when kids called him names—and couldn’t stop himself from lashing out physically.
Acknowledge bad feelings. Let your child know that it’s normal to be upset by teasing. Joe’s parents and I made sure that he understood that—and that it was not OK for children to pick on him.
Discuss alternative ways to respond. Explain to your child that there are many ways to respond to teasing, some good and some not so good. Shoving the teaser was a bad choice. Joe and I explored better options, including walking away from the encounter and saying “I don’t care” over and over, until the teaser got bored. Ultimately, Joe decided he’d simply say, “Please stop it.” He said that gave him a sense of control over the situation.
Reenact the situation. Once you’ve armed your child with socially acceptable ways to respond, let him play the role of the child being teased while you play the teaser. Then switch roles, varying the “script” to explore the different ways in which the scenario could play out. You might videotape the role-playing sessions and review the tapes at a later time with your child to reinforce appropriate behavior.
Celebrate success. If your child comes home announcing that he has used the lessons learned in role-playing, congratulate him. Give him a high-five, and tell him how proud you are — even if he didn’t do everything you had practiced. This is not the time to nit-pick.
Role-playing didn’t help Joe right away. But one day, a few weeks after we began our sessions, Joe was beaming when he came into my office. Once again, a playmate had teased him, but this time Joe hadn’t struck back. “I told him I didn’t care what he thought,” Joe explained.
Over time, as we continued our sessions, Joe got even better at controlling his behavior on the playground. Other children accepted him as one of the gang, and that made him feel good about himself.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teens with ADD: Making the Transition to Adulthood
How to help your teenager with ADD make a smooth transition to an adulthood with greater responsibility.
Welcome to adulthood! Late adolescence and early adulthood are exciting times, bringing tremendous change and personal growth. From choices about higher education to decisions about a career and family, there is so much ahead that it may seem overwhelming. Take heart - every adult has faced these same decisions and met the same challenges. You'll do fine.
As a young teen with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), however, be aware that you have some additional responsibilities and concerns to shoulder. As someone who has been there, let me outline six points to consider, and offer some advice and inspiration, as you enter the next phase of your life.
Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/839.html
Monday, June 9, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) ADHD Meds in High School
By ADDitude Magazine
Three ways ADHD teens can master the challenges of meds at school.
No one likes being "different," particularly as teens, when fitting in is important. That’s why many students with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) decide to discontinue the ADD medication they took as a child.
But contrary to popular belief, ADHD doesn’t usually go away with age. Stopping medication could make your differences stand out more and lead to social disaster.
Here are better ways to deal with the challenges posed by your ADHD.
“I’m embarrassed that everyone knows I have ADHD and take medication. If don’t take medication, no one has to know I have it.”
As a teen, having ADHD is your business, and whom you choose to share this information with is your decision. Talk to your parents about an action plan to minimize your feelings of embarrassment. There are now once-a-day medications that mean you don’t have to go to the school nurse for a midday dose.
If you have an insensitive teacher, talk to him or her about respecting your medical privacy. If you visit a friend, take responsibility for your own medication so others won’t have to know you take it.
“When I take my medication I’m never hungry, so I’m a lot smaller than everyone else my age.”
To put on weight and muscle, create “windows of opportunity.” Try to eat a huge breakfast before your first dose in the morning. Make it a hamburger or pizza if you want; there’s no law that breakfast has to be cereal and toast.
Accept that you may not be hungry at lunch. Try eating small amounts of high calorie foods such as cheese, peanut butter or ice cream.
Time your medication so that it wears off between 4:00 and 6:00 pm. Your appetite should return and you can enjoy a hearty dinner, even though you may not be able to do your homework at this time. Take your final dose after dinner if you need it to concentrate. If this timing isn’t practical, ask your parents to excuse you from eating and save your plate for later, when your medication wears off.
Some kids make smoothies using high calorie food supplements such as Ensure. Add your own ingredients — ice cream, milk, fruit and flavorings.
If you still cannot gain weight, discuss with your doctor the possibility of switching to another medication that does not affect appetite. In any event, don’t worry. While medication may slow your growth somewhat, studies show it has little or no effect on your ultimate height.
“Some of my friends drink beer and smoke pot. I don’t want them to think I’m uncool. Is just a little okay?”
Sorry, but it’s not okay. Besides being illegal, drugs and alcohol don’t mix well with ADHD medications. Even if you don’t take medication, drugs and alcohol can worsen your ADHD symptoms, which can make you a social outcast. If you’ve already got problems controlling your impulses and your social interactions, what’s going to happen when drugs and alcohol take away whatever restraint you have?
That said, let’s get real. If you find yourself in a social situation where you think you may be drinking, make sure your medication is not in effect. If it is, be forewarned that you may experience a greater “high” or “buzz” than expected. Use less. Regular use of alcohol and drugs with ADHD medications can lead to serious problems. As a teenager, only you can decide whether to step into adult shoes and do the mature and responsible thing. Take it slow or better still, don’t drink and don’t use illegal drugs.
Three ways ADHD teens can master the challenges of meds at school.
No one likes being "different," particularly as teens, when fitting in is important. That’s why many students with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) decide to discontinue the ADD medication they took as a child.
But contrary to popular belief, ADHD doesn’t usually go away with age. Stopping medication could make your differences stand out more and lead to social disaster.
Here are better ways to deal with the challenges posed by your ADHD.
“I’m embarrassed that everyone knows I have ADHD and take medication. If don’t take medication, no one has to know I have it.”
As a teen, having ADHD is your business, and whom you choose to share this information with is your decision. Talk to your parents about an action plan to minimize your feelings of embarrassment. There are now once-a-day medications that mean you don’t have to go to the school nurse for a midday dose.
If you have an insensitive teacher, talk to him or her about respecting your medical privacy. If you visit a friend, take responsibility for your own medication so others won’t have to know you take it.
“When I take my medication I’m never hungry, so I’m a lot smaller than everyone else my age.”
To put on weight and muscle, create “windows of opportunity.” Try to eat a huge breakfast before your first dose in the morning. Make it a hamburger or pizza if you want; there’s no law that breakfast has to be cereal and toast.
Accept that you may not be hungry at lunch. Try eating small amounts of high calorie foods such as cheese, peanut butter or ice cream.
Time your medication so that it wears off between 4:00 and 6:00 pm. Your appetite should return and you can enjoy a hearty dinner, even though you may not be able to do your homework at this time. Take your final dose after dinner if you need it to concentrate. If this timing isn’t practical, ask your parents to excuse you from eating and save your plate for later, when your medication wears off.
Some kids make smoothies using high calorie food supplements such as Ensure. Add your own ingredients — ice cream, milk, fruit and flavorings.
If you still cannot gain weight, discuss with your doctor the possibility of switching to another medication that does not affect appetite. In any event, don’t worry. While medication may slow your growth somewhat, studies show it has little or no effect on your ultimate height.
“Some of my friends drink beer and smoke pot. I don’t want them to think I’m uncool. Is just a little okay?”
Sorry, but it’s not okay. Besides being illegal, drugs and alcohol don’t mix well with ADHD medications. Even if you don’t take medication, drugs and alcohol can worsen your ADHD symptoms, which can make you a social outcast. If you’ve already got problems controlling your impulses and your social interactions, what’s going to happen when drugs and alcohol take away whatever restraint you have?
That said, let’s get real. If you find yourself in a social situation where you think you may be drinking, make sure your medication is not in effect. If it is, be forewarned that you may experience a greater “high” or “buzz” than expected. Use less. Regular use of alcohol and drugs with ADHD medications can lead to serious problems. As a teenager, only you can decide whether to step into adult shoes and do the mature and responsible thing. Take it slow or better still, don’t drink and don’t use illegal drugs.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sue Scheff: Behavior Therapy for Children with ADHD
Seven parenting strategies guaranteed to improve the behavior of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).
The fundamentals of behavior therapy are easy to understand and implement, even without the help of a therapist. Have you ever given your child a time-out for talking back — or a “heads-up” before taking him someplace that is likely to challenge his self-control? Then you already have a sense of how behavior therapy works.
“A lot of behavior modification is just common-sense parenting,” says William Pelham, Jr., Ph.D., director of the Center for Children and Families at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “The problem is that none of us were trained how to be good parents, and none of us expected to have children who needed parents with great parenting skills and patience.”
The basic idea is to set specific rules governing your child’s behavior (nothing vague or too broad), and to enforce your rules consistently, with positive consequences for following them and negative consequences for infractions. Dr. Pelham suggests these seven strategies:1. Make sure your child understands the rules.
Telling a child to “do this” or to “avoid doing that” is not enough. To ensure that your child knows the rules cold, create lists and post them around the house. For example, you might draw up a list detailing the specific things your child must do to get ready for school.Make sure the rules are worded clearly. Go over the rules to make sure he understands, and review them as necessary. Stick with the routines until your child has them down.
Click here for more: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1563.html
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Sue Scheff: Helping ADHD Children with Impulse Control: Smart Discipline
Help children with ADHD think before they act by establishing clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences for good or bad behavior at school and home.
For children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) ruled by their impulses, calling out in class or pushing to the front of the line comes naturally. These kids live in the moment, undeterred by rules or consequences. Even when they are rude or unruly, they may not recognize that their behavior is disturbing to others.
Lack of impulse control may be the most difficult ADD symptom to change. Medication can help, but kids also need clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences if they are to learn to regulate their behavior.
Click here for entire article.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Sue Scheff: The Truth about TV and ADHD
By ADDitude Magazine
Is watching TV linked to a rise in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? Here's what you should know about the causes of ADHD in children.
If you're like a lot of parents, you've probably used your television as a baby-sitter. Anxious to grab a few moments to fix dinner, straighten up, or take a breather, you've turned to the flashy colors and graphics of SpongeBob or Rugrats to mesmerize your child.
Read the entire article here.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sue Scheff: Many learning and behavior problems begin in your grocery cart!
The Feingold Program
Did you know that the brand of ice cream, cookie, and potato chip you select could have a direct effect on the behavior, health, and ability to learn for you or your children?
Numerous studies show that certain synthetic food additives can have serious learning, behavior, and/or health effects for sensitive people.
The Feingold Program (also known as the Feingold Diet) is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms. It is basically the way people used to eat before "hyperactivity" and "ADHD" became household words, and before asthma and chronic ear infections became so very common.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Can Children Outgrow ADHD?
Parents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.
I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.
As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Cutting Back Sugar to Treat Symptoms in Children
Simple changes in diet, like cutting back on snacks with sugar, could bring out the sweeter side this holiday season in your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).
Chances are, you’ve had the following chat with the doctor of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) — probably just before the holidays: “Every time Johnny eats lots of sugary foods, his symptoms of ADHD worsen, and he becomes irritable and hyper. I dread this season because Johnny turns it into unhappy days for everyone.”
Click here for entire article.
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