Help your child stand up to teasing at school with these smart playground strategies.
Source: ADDitude Magazine
Teasing and playful banter are an inevitable part of childhood, but children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often don't know how to respond. Parents should encourage their children to stand up to teasing without overreacting, which might escalate the problem.
Alert your child's teachers and school principal about any bullying, and let the school take care of the situation.
Suggest that the school establish antibullying rules, if it hasn't already done so.
Encourage your child to stay calm in the face of the bullying. He might count to 10 or take a few deep breaths before responding. Help him brainstorm some good comebacks. He could agree with the bully: "I am overweight. Maybe I should go on a diet." Or he could preempt taunts by saying, "Hi, what are you going to tease me about today?" The key is to remain emotionally detached.
Teach your child to yell, "Ouch! Stop that!" each time he's taunted. That will attract an adult's attention without his tattling.
Encourage your child to stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak in a firm, authoritative tone. If the bullying seems to have a specific, petty target - like the type of cap your son wears on the bus - have him leave it home for a few days.
Ask your child for a daily progress report, and offer abundant encouragement.
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens - TEENSHEALTH
TEENSHEALTH answers and advice for parents of teens. Learn more about teen drug use, substance abuse, bullying, cyberbullying, peer pressure, sex education and more!
Learn more at this comprehensive parenting website.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Sue Scheff: Grade School Bullying
“A new phrase has entered our vocabulary: “Barbie Brats.” The name applies to an overlooked group of kids- young children, only 6 or 8 or 10 years old, who bully other kids in real life or on the Internet.”
– Louise Myslik, LCSW
Sherrod is only seven, but already, he says, he’s the victim of bullies. Sometimes it’s verbal, at other times, physical.
“They tell me to do stuff and then they push me into a wall.”
“They don’t like him,” says Sherrod’s mother, Sherry Thornton. “They won’t share with him. They do things and just blame it on him.”
Bullying among younger kids is happening more often. In fact, studies show three-quarters of children aged 8 to 11 say they’ve been bullied.
Experts say as kids learn to socialize, sometimes they’re nice and sometimes mean. It’s the mean behavior parents should focus on.
“We can’t assume that kids will be kids [and] at some point, they will grow out of this,” says Louise Myslik, a licensed clinical social worker. “We need to really pay attention to it and help them understand what it means to be mean, what it looks like, how it feels and why it’s not appropriate.”
Experts say parents should first talk to their children about bullying. Also, ask detailed questions.
For instance, says Myslik, “’Do you think your school has bullies? Do you have bullies in your class? What do they do? What do they say? Whom do they hurt? Have you ever been hurt?’”
She says if your child is a bully, don’t ignore the behavior. If your child is the victim, like Sherrod, teach them to speak up – tell an adult, stand up to the bully.
Sherrod’s mother offers him these words, “’Stop. Don’t do that to me. I don’t like that. You’re hurting me or you hurt my feelings,’ she says, “To me, communication is key.”
Tips for Parents
– Louise Myslik, LCSW
Sherrod is only seven, but already, he says, he’s the victim of bullies. Sometimes it’s verbal, at other times, physical.
“They tell me to do stuff and then they push me into a wall.”
“They don’t like him,” says Sherrod’s mother, Sherry Thornton. “They won’t share with him. They do things and just blame it on him.”
Bullying among younger kids is happening more often. In fact, studies show three-quarters of children aged 8 to 11 say they’ve been bullied.
Experts say as kids learn to socialize, sometimes they’re nice and sometimes mean. It’s the mean behavior parents should focus on.
“We can’t assume that kids will be kids [and] at some point, they will grow out of this,” says Louise Myslik, a licensed clinical social worker. “We need to really pay attention to it and help them understand what it means to be mean, what it looks like, how it feels and why it’s not appropriate.”
Experts say parents should first talk to their children about bullying. Also, ask detailed questions.
For instance, says Myslik, “’Do you think your school has bullies? Do you have bullies in your class? What do they do? What do they say? Whom do they hurt? Have you ever been hurt?’”
She says if your child is a bully, don’t ignore the behavior. If your child is the victim, like Sherrod, teach them to speak up – tell an adult, stand up to the bully.
Sherrod’s mother offers him these words, “’Stop. Don’t do that to me. I don’t like that. You’re hurting me or you hurt my feelings,’ she says, “To me, communication is key.”
Tips for Parents
It may seem like innocent child’s play, but physical and verbal taunting can weigh heavily on kids. According to a report, teasing and bullying top the list of children’s school troubles. In a survey called “Talking with Kids About Tough Issues,” authors polled 823 kids ranging in age from 8 to 15. The majority reported teasing and bullying are “big problems” that rank higher than racism, smoking, drinking, drugs or sex.
Australian researchers also found that teenagers who are the targets of repeated taunts, threats and/or physical violence are more likely to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression. Girls appear to be particularly vulnerable.
“Bullying, teasing and harassment are psychological and psychiatric traumas,” says Dr. William S. Pollack, a clinical psychologist at Harvard Medical School. Those traumas can lead to “anxiety, depression, dysfunction, nightmares, and later, incapacity to function actively and healthfully as an adult.”
Experts say it is extremely important to open the lines of communication with your kids.
Consider the following tips:
Start early
Initiate conversations
Create an open environment
Communicate your values
Listen to your child
Try to be honest
Be patient
Share your experiences
Also, watch for behavioral changes. Children who are suffering from teasing and bullying may try to hide the hurt. They become withdrawn from family and friends, lose interest in hobbies, and may turn to destructive habits like alcohol, drugs, and acts of violence.
It is the ultimate responsibility of your child’s school to make the school safe for him/her. Share the following tips with your child, and tell him/her to only do the things recommended below if he/she is comfortable doing them. If your child is not comfortable, encourage him/her to get help from a teacher or counselor. And even when he/she takes the actions below, it is always a good idea for him/her to let parents and teachers know.
Be assertive
Write the harasser a letter
Document incidents
Check with other students
File a formal complaint
References
Kaiser Family Foundation
Children Now
British Medical Journal
U.S. Department of Education
LaMarsh Research Centre
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