The Truth About Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD ADHD)7 Myths About ADD ADHD... Debunked!
YES, SEND ME a free copy of 7 Myths About ADD ADHD... Debunked! and updates on diagnosing ADD ADHD.Free ADHD handout from ADDitude...
Showing posts with label PURE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PURE. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Sue Scheff: "Wit's End!" now available for pre-order
Defiant teens, teen depression, teen anger, rage, substance abuse, undesirable peers, peer pressure, troubled teens, out of control teens, at risk teens, struggling teens, problem teens, difficult teens, runaways.... The list goes on.
Pre-order "Wit's End!" now.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Kids Still Using Drugs by Connect with Kids
“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of … drugs.”
– Ebony, high school student
The billions of dollars spent on the war against drugs may have increased awareness and saved lives in this country, but the totalnumber of kids who use tobacco, alcohol and drugs is still staggering. A new Federal report showing how many kids begin experimenting every day is startling.
Every single day in America, 8,000 teenagers have their first drink; 4,000 try their first cigarette. More than 3,600 smoke marijuana for the first time, and 4,000 are introduced to inhalants, cocaine, methamphetamine and other drugs.
That’s just today; at midnight the count begins all over again.
“For a lot of kids, it’s just the opening up of adolescence. Suddenly they have money; they have disposable income. They have new peer groups that they are trying to measure up to,” says Armando Corpus, drug treatment counselor.
Ebony Marie was one teen trying to measure up.
“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of drugs,” says White.
At 13, Ebony started smoking cigarettes and then moved on to marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, and finally, methamphetamines. Within a few months she was a drug addict.
“I am [a drug addict] and I know I am because I love drugs,” says Ebony.
Experts say that a teen’s first experience with drugs or alcohol makes the decision to use drugs again a lot easier.
“There is a line that you cross, at least psychologically, that this is something I do; at least, this is something I experiment with,” says Corpus.
He says too many parents surrender to the philosophy that teen experimentation is inevitable, and then they are surprised.
“I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve come across who say, ‘All I knew was that he was smoking marijuana once in a while. I didn’t know he was doing cocaine. I didn’t know he was doing methamphetamine,’” says Corpus.
Now in recovery, Ebony has been off drugs for several months. She hopes forever.
“Because it doesn’t get you anywhere but jails, institutions and death,” says Ebony.
Tips for Parents
To help prevent your child from using illegal substances or turning to prescription drugs to get high, it's a good idea to begin discussing substance abuse with your child at an early age, and continue openly communicating about the issues as your child grows. (Nemours Foundation)
Take advantage of "teachable moments." If you and your child see a character on TV or in a movie who is smoking or using an illegal substance, talk to your child about what smoking and substance abuse does to a person's body, mind, life. (Nemours Foundation)
When your child becomes a teenager, you can address the issue in a more direct way. Talk about both the more immediate and the long-term health effects of substance abuse and tell your child where you stand. (Nemours Foundation)
If you suspect that your child may be abusing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) medicines or painkillers, it's a good idea to: (Nemours Foundation)
Lock your medicine cabinet, or keep medicines that could potentially be abused in a less accessible place.
Avoid stockpiling medicines. Having too many at your teen's disposal could make abusing them more tempting.
Keep track of how much is in each container in your medicine cabinet.
Keep an eye out not only for traditional-looking cough and cold remedies in your teen's room, but also strange-looking tablets.
Monitor your child's Internet usage. Be on the lookout for suspicious websites and emails that seem to be promoting the abuse of drugs, both legal and illegal.
It's also important to provide a warm and open environment at home where your child is encouraged to talk about feelings, and knows that he or she can bring you tricky questions and concerns without fear of judgment and punishment. (Nemours Foundation)
References
Nemours Foundation
– Ebony, high school student
The billions of dollars spent on the war against drugs may have increased awareness and saved lives in this country, but the totalnumber of kids who use tobacco, alcohol and drugs is still staggering. A new Federal report showing how many kids begin experimenting every day is startling.
Every single day in America, 8,000 teenagers have their first drink; 4,000 try their first cigarette. More than 3,600 smoke marijuana for the first time, and 4,000 are introduced to inhalants, cocaine, methamphetamine and other drugs.
That’s just today; at midnight the count begins all over again.
“For a lot of kids, it’s just the opening up of adolescence. Suddenly they have money; they have disposable income. They have new peer groups that they are trying to measure up to,” says Armando Corpus, drug treatment counselor.
Ebony Marie was one teen trying to measure up.
“It was just the thing, and everybody’s smoking and parties and raves and all kinds of drugs,” says White.
At 13, Ebony started smoking cigarettes and then moved on to marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, and finally, methamphetamines. Within a few months she was a drug addict.
“I am [a drug addict] and I know I am because I love drugs,” says Ebony.
Experts say that a teen’s first experience with drugs or alcohol makes the decision to use drugs again a lot easier.
“There is a line that you cross, at least psychologically, that this is something I do; at least, this is something I experiment with,” says Corpus.
He says too many parents surrender to the philosophy that teen experimentation is inevitable, and then they are surprised.
“I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve come across who say, ‘All I knew was that he was smoking marijuana once in a while. I didn’t know he was doing cocaine. I didn’t know he was doing methamphetamine,’” says Corpus.
Now in recovery, Ebony has been off drugs for several months. She hopes forever.
“Because it doesn’t get you anywhere but jails, institutions and death,” says Ebony.
Tips for Parents
To help prevent your child from using illegal substances or turning to prescription drugs to get high, it's a good idea to begin discussing substance abuse with your child at an early age, and continue openly communicating about the issues as your child grows. (Nemours Foundation)
Take advantage of "teachable moments." If you and your child see a character on TV or in a movie who is smoking or using an illegal substance, talk to your child about what smoking and substance abuse does to a person's body, mind, life. (Nemours Foundation)
When your child becomes a teenager, you can address the issue in a more direct way. Talk about both the more immediate and the long-term health effects of substance abuse and tell your child where you stand. (Nemours Foundation)
If you suspect that your child may be abusing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) medicines or painkillers, it's a good idea to: (Nemours Foundation)
Lock your medicine cabinet, or keep medicines that could potentially be abused in a less accessible place.
Avoid stockpiling medicines. Having too many at your teen's disposal could make abusing them more tempting.
Keep track of how much is in each container in your medicine cabinet.
Keep an eye out not only for traditional-looking cough and cold remedies in your teen's room, but also strange-looking tablets.
Monitor your child's Internet usage. Be on the lookout for suspicious websites and emails that seem to be promoting the abuse of drugs, both legal and illegal.
It's also important to provide a warm and open environment at home where your child is encouraged to talk about feelings, and knows that he or she can bring you tricky questions and concerns without fear of judgment and punishment. (Nemours Foundation)
References
Nemours Foundation
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sue Scheff: Why Children Lie by Dr. Lawrence Kutner
Lying is a skill all children learn. It is a tool for avoiding blame or punishment, and for shoring up a poor self-image. While all children lie, some do it much more than others. Psychologists who study lying have found patterns that help predict which children will lie the most.
The key difference appears to be the emotional well-being of the child. Children who are chronic liars don’t feel good about themselves. Even so, repeated lying can be a sign of several underlying problems, each of which requires a different response from parents.
The most common reasons for lying, particularly among younger children, is a fear of punishment. This is especially true when the punishment is severe or the parents have unrealistically high expectations for their children. For example, a colleague told me about a family she had been counseling. The five-year-old girl’s stepfather insisted that she do such things as putting away all her clothes without being asked, and clearing the table after dinner. He punished her if she didn’t. The girl would say she had done the chores, even if she’d (predictably) forgotten.
Although the stepfather complained about the girl’s lying, the underlying issue was his inappropriate expectations of what a normal five-year-old could do. The child was handling the situation the best way she knew how. Given her limited abilities and powerlessness within the family, lying was actually an adaptive response.
Older school-age children will also lie to enhance their self-esteem and social status. For example, they may claim to have met a particular rock star, actor, or sports figure, or they may exaggerate their parents’ wealth. Occasional lies like this are seldom anything to worry about, since they’re to be expected in the course of children’s games of one-upsmanship.
But repeated lies about social status are a sign of trouble. They tell you that the child has a bad attitude about himself. Ask yourself why he might be feeling humiliated or worthless. Is he being ignored? Has he been the butt of jokes, or been belittled?
For older children, chronic lying is often a rebellion against restrictions. It is a way to challenge a parent’s authority. Preteens no longer feel they must tell their parents everything they do; they may respond with a lie to what they perceive as an intrusive question.
As they grow older, children realize that the greatest control they can have is the control of information. Generally, the more intrusive or overinvolved parents are, the more likely it is that preadolescents will lie by omitting information. Often they do this blatantly, as if to emphasize their growing need for privacy. “Where did you go?” “Nowhere.” What did you do?” “Nothing.” “Who was there?” “Nobody you’d know.”
A sudden increase in lying can also be a signal that something’s wrong in the family. This is especially true if the child is acting out in other ways, such as stealing or committing vandalism. You should pay particular attention if the victims of the thefts or other petty crimes are other family members. Often this is a cry for help that is much louder than his words alone could be.
For example, it’s not too unusual when counseling a preadolescent who has done something dramatic and new, such as stealing and crashing the family car, or who has been arrested for burglary, to discover that his parents were contemplating a divorce. Creating this crisis was the only way the child could think of to reunite his parents, if only for the moment. While his motivations were unconscious, his actions addressed his strong needs.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner is a nationally known clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School, where he’s co-founder and co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. He’s the author of five books: Parent & Child: Getting Through to Each Other; Pregnancy and Your Baby’s First Year; Toddlers and Preschoolers; Your School-Age Child; and Making Sense of Your Teenager.
The key difference appears to be the emotional well-being of the child. Children who are chronic liars don’t feel good about themselves. Even so, repeated lying can be a sign of several underlying problems, each of which requires a different response from parents.
The most common reasons for lying, particularly among younger children, is a fear of punishment. This is especially true when the punishment is severe or the parents have unrealistically high expectations for their children. For example, a colleague told me about a family she had been counseling. The five-year-old girl’s stepfather insisted that she do such things as putting away all her clothes without being asked, and clearing the table after dinner. He punished her if she didn’t. The girl would say she had done the chores, even if she’d (predictably) forgotten.
Although the stepfather complained about the girl’s lying, the underlying issue was his inappropriate expectations of what a normal five-year-old could do. The child was handling the situation the best way she knew how. Given her limited abilities and powerlessness within the family, lying was actually an adaptive response.
Older school-age children will also lie to enhance their self-esteem and social status. For example, they may claim to have met a particular rock star, actor, or sports figure, or they may exaggerate their parents’ wealth. Occasional lies like this are seldom anything to worry about, since they’re to be expected in the course of children’s games of one-upsmanship.
But repeated lies about social status are a sign of trouble. They tell you that the child has a bad attitude about himself. Ask yourself why he might be feeling humiliated or worthless. Is he being ignored? Has he been the butt of jokes, or been belittled?
For older children, chronic lying is often a rebellion against restrictions. It is a way to challenge a parent’s authority. Preteens no longer feel they must tell their parents everything they do; they may respond with a lie to what they perceive as an intrusive question.
As they grow older, children realize that the greatest control they can have is the control of information. Generally, the more intrusive or overinvolved parents are, the more likely it is that preadolescents will lie by omitting information. Often they do this blatantly, as if to emphasize their growing need for privacy. “Where did you go?” “Nowhere.” What did you do?” “Nothing.” “Who was there?” “Nobody you’d know.”
A sudden increase in lying can also be a signal that something’s wrong in the family. This is especially true if the child is acting out in other ways, such as stealing or committing vandalism. You should pay particular attention if the victims of the thefts or other petty crimes are other family members. Often this is a cry for help that is much louder than his words alone could be.
For example, it’s not too unusual when counseling a preadolescent who has done something dramatic and new, such as stealing and crashing the family car, or who has been arrested for burglary, to discover that his parents were contemplating a divorce. Creating this crisis was the only way the child could think of to reunite his parents, if only for the moment. While his motivations were unconscious, his actions addressed his strong needs.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner is a nationally known clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School, where he’s co-founder and co-director of the Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media. He’s the author of five books: Parent & Child: Getting Through to Each Other; Pregnancy and Your Baby’s First Year; Toddlers and Preschoolers; Your School-Age Child; and Making Sense of Your Teenager.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Parent's Universal Resource Experts Continuing to Help Keep Parents Informed
Parent's Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.) is an organization I created to help parents learn about an industry that can be daunting especially when you are dealing with at risk teenagers.
Parents need to keep educated on today's teens and the issues of teen depression and what causes this.
Parents need to keep educated on today's teens and the issues of teen depression and what causes this.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Sue Scheff: Book Reviews by Parents for Parents
Take a moment to see what parents are recommending to other parents. Click here.
There is a wide range of books from ADD/ADHD to Teen Depression and Help for Troubled Teens.
There is a wide range of books from ADD/ADHD to Teen Depression and Help for Troubled Teens.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Sue Scheff: Parenting Articles
For informational articles on parenting teens and more, visit my new Blog that is being updated regularly as news articles and magazines bring today's current issues with adolescents.
Click here.
Click here.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sue Scheff on Difficult Teens
It stems back to "children need to have their self-esteem built up to make good decisions." Today most families are either single parent or both parents are working full time. This is not the fault of the teen, nor is it the fault of the parents.
It is today's world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today.
Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems.
Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today's life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids. Talk and LISTEN to them.
Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard time, even if you can't understand it; be there for them.
This all sounds so easy and so simple, but take it from parents that have walked this path, it is not easy. When a parent works a full day, has stress from the job along with household chores, not to mention the bills, it is hard to find that moment.
We are all guilty of neglect at one time or another after all, we are only human and can only do so much. We feel the exhaustion mounting watching our teens grow more out of control, yet we are too tired to address it.
Out of control teens can completely disrupt a family and cause marriages to break up as well as emotional breakdowns.We know many feel it is just a stage, and with some, it may be. However most times it does escalate to where we are today.
Do you have a difficult teen, struggling teen, defiant teen, out of control teen, rebellious teen, angry teen, depressed teen? Do you feel hopeless, at your wits end?
For more information visit PURE.
It is today's world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today.
Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems.
Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today's life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids. Talk and LISTEN to them.
Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard time, even if you can't understand it; be there for them.
This all sounds so easy and so simple, but take it from parents that have walked this path, it is not easy. When a parent works a full day, has stress from the job along with household chores, not to mention the bills, it is hard to find that moment.
We are all guilty of neglect at one time or another after all, we are only human and can only do so much. We feel the exhaustion mounting watching our teens grow more out of control, yet we are too tired to address it.
Out of control teens can completely disrupt a family and cause marriages to break up as well as emotional breakdowns.We know many feel it is just a stage, and with some, it may be. However most times it does escalate to where we are today.
Do you have a difficult teen, struggling teen, defiant teen, out of control teen, rebellious teen, angry teen, depressed teen? Do you feel hopeless, at your wits end?
For more information visit PURE.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
